SXPARTYSERIES / ONE
I have been to a few sex parties in my life. Some were elaborate productions set in mansions or castles. Champagne reception and seated fine dining. Sushi on naked bodies for in-between fuckery snacks. Candlelit processions down medieval staircases. Gothic soundtracks and hooded cloaks. Why did group sex get such a morbid branding? Nobody knows.
Cloaks look silly on petite people like myself and plastic bed sheets don’t go well with 18th-century castle glam aesthetics. These kinds of pleasure parties that look like Eyes Wide Shut themed Pinterest boards always make me chuckle a little. The adorable attempt to recreate a Hollywood inspired idea of what an orgy is. Ever tried to fuck someone wearing a Venetian mask?
I have been to other more straightforward events. Small parties in NYC townhouses or Parisian member’s clubs. Less cloaking and less socialising over silver-plated hors d’oeuvre. A little less conversation, a little more action. But no matter how elaborate or profane the event, something was always missing. I might create my own concept one day but that’s food for thought for some other time.
I do love the idea of sex amongst many.
Being in a sexually charged space with others makes me horny and happy in equal parts. I love the energy passion of any kind creates. Witnessing people be in their zone - play music, dance, ski, weave, whatever. And fucking of course. I love watching people fuck. I also love being watched.
The purity of shared bliss gives me joy and the impurity of the messy mayhem excites me. Fucking strangers on full display for nothing but orgasmic pleasure! Sodom and Gomorrah! The ultimate rebellion against repression and shame! So good, so divine, Jesus would be proud.
Yet, what I enjoy most is not the sodom and gomorrah, it is the subtlety. Interlocking eyes with a stranger for much too long. Animalistic desire. Feeling him inside me long before a word is exchanged. Actually, no words, let’s not. No need for speaking. Other’s sexual sounds close to my ear, intimate, raw. Stimulation by proxy. Bodies skin sweat morphed into one moving moaning organism of pleasure. The feeling of soft skin right next to me, a leg, a torso rubbing against my body in repetitive motion, a sensation my skin immediately recognises as she’s getting fucked.
I was 15 when I experienced this sensation for the first time. My best friend, her boyfriend and I were sharing a bed after a night out partying and I woke up to their whispers. They probably thought I was sound asleep and I did my best not to give away that I wasn’t. Intimacy changes quality over the course of a night. You might feel fine crawling into bed with someone at nightfall but when you wake to the calm quiet of the darkest hours, enveloped by dreams that just were and those that are coming, you might feel misplaced.
They kept whispering. I kept my eyes shut. I continued breathing steady and deep. I didn’t move or maybe I moved a little. I did all the things I believed sleeping people do as I lay wide awake and witnessed two lovers whisper beside me, whispers that slowly turned into kisses, sweet and soft, then deep and wet and longing... her breathing, him breathing, wet sounds and sighs as I felt him get on top of her as I felt him slide inside her as I felt him beginning to move in and out of her, fucking her, slow at first, soft, timid, careful not to wake me, then fucking her faster, harder, deeper, lust overpowering caution, heavier breathing, louder moans, two fucking bodies viscously rubbing against mine, their sounds so very close to my ear, the air so thick with their sex.
I got so wet.
I made myself cum so hard.