i thought i would feel more
Swimsuits, tiny bikinis, perfect bodies. Youth.
But let’s start from the start.
A boat trip. Sardinia in August. Heat. Blue crystal clear waters and rosé infused tipsiness. Body and soul overdosing with goodness. Low pressure, high sun. That lingering horniness an ever hovering hum. Like tinnitus but good.
My threshold for arousal is super low. Sexually, that’s one of the upsides of being a highly sensitive person. That doesn’t mean I get aroused by just anyone doing whatever, not at all. But I am extremely sensual: all sorts of non-sexual stimulation translates directly to physical arousal.
My morning run. Getting up on runners high when everything is just perfect: crisp temperature, wind blowing through trees above, stairs and dogs and baby strollers parcoured perfectly. On a roll. Some girl I don’t know casting me a huge smile, like go girl! I see you, go go go! You got this, go!
That hum.
Or biting into a piece of expertly cooked meat when all I have been craving is biting into a piece of expertly cooked meat.
And of course speed, always speed. Accelerating cars. Feeling full force energy of heavy machinery pumping violently through my breakable body.
Just an excerpt of sensations that immediately translate into arousal, that pulsating hum. Wet warmth so strangely familiar and home. I am not even certain it is sexual. Maybe it’s just energy. I feel it now as I am writing this.
Okay, so a boat trip. Sardinia in August. Heat. Blue crystal clear waters and rosé infused tipsiness. Girls in Bikinis and swimsuits but not just girls - Italian girls! I love beauty and I love beaches and I love Italian beaches because Italian girls know how to do beauty. It’s part of their culture, they call it La Bella Figura, it’s a thing. Perfect bodies, long legs, flawless skin, a silky-smooth tan that says ummmmmmm… not oh-oh!
For visual pleasure I have always preferred women over men. I like men for their masculine energy and minds but I have never cared much for male beauty. I can appreciate it but it doesn’t fascinate me as much as female beauty does. Italian girls are reigning female beauty! Fashionable swimsuits, curated tan lines, cutest tops covering perfect shapes but only just. Masters of sophisticated sexiness. Objects of desire, elegantly engineered. Cute butt cheeks, toned, just round enough to tease without being too vulgar, too street. Casually bending over to arrange beach towels, to grab phones out of St Barth bags, tiny bikini bottoms showing whatever shows. 2021 - thank you for making sluttyness chic again!
I thought I would feel more.
A perfect wet dream played out live in HD!
An all you can eat visual buffet of perfection!
I thought I would feel more.
Will these images be what I put on replay when masturbating later today?
Will that be enough?
How much will I have to add? Like a lot?
My life is nakedness and sex and beautiful girls in skimpy clothes. Reality or virtually but daily. My Twitter feed is all boobs and bodies and bikinis and butt-cheeks and hard dicks in hungry mouths lip gloss-glossy pink and pouty. Sexual perfection overload. Millions of bodies morphing into one. Maybe I am desensitised. Maybe everyone is.
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Ever since I can remember I have been fascinated by native tribes. I am fascinated by their rawness and embodiment of primal instinct. Hunting, feasting, community, fucking, birth, death, survival.
Discovery channel, subtitled interviews, white people documenting some exotic place far far away. Wildlife, people like me not living like me at all. Images of women going about their days all nude. Groups of men and women living, dancing, talking, working, hunting butt-naked. Genitals were covered, I think, maybe. But I definitely also remember seeing penisses dangling about so yeah. That apparent lack of sexual shame. As a highly intuitive and sensual being growing up rationally in western society this is what I have been most fascinated by - delete this - envious of: these people did not seem to do shame!
They did also not seem to get too distracted by the ever-present nudity. Not in a sexual nsfw because you won’t get shit done sense anyway. Maybe over-exposition does suffocate arousal? Maybe there is such a thing as too much of a good thing?
I don’t know. Ummm, maybe. Maybe not. I don’t think lust or arousal can actually be suffocated, it just finds new channels. I don’t believe any primal instinct can be suffocated. Not the good, nor the bad. I don’t believe in no more wars and I don’t believe in peace forever and I don’t believe in no more lust. We are animalistic creatures after all, as much as we try hard to pretend otherwise. We are arguably the most adaptable animal however and as everything around us changes all the time and at great speed, we change too. We adapt and we evolve and so do our instincts and what triggers them.
With my senses being more and more flooded with visual sex and perfection, expertly crafted desirability, I feel my sexual mind is shifting to seek new exciting ways to be nourished.
“The world is movement and you cannot be stationary in your attitude toward something that is moving”.
I love that maybe most about being alive: it’s never ever boring because just when you thought you figured it all out, sex and love and life etcetera, everything changes and the whole adventure to figure it all out starts anew! A perfect wet dream on HD live replay.